mondaze

So I'm on my search still to get employed
and reduce a little of my deficit and put some
crumbs on my dads table. I owe him more than that;
way fucking more.
he's been picking up after my mess that's been going on for oh so long now.
I'm happy I've updated my CV after putting it off for eons.

Life's a funky mess, and the little streaks of light poking out at the
seams are encouraging and somewhat uplifting.
Lots more to be done and to achieve, and plenty of little stones
to clear away, before I walk upright, head held up high.
maybe not alone as I'm used to, who knows.
Fingers crossed, bite my tongue, pray, and hope and wish
things go the way the stars align, and would allow.
Whatever comes my way, I'l take it especially if I bring it upon myself.
I've promised myself I'd do things different.
Yeah, you've all heard that before, and still, more often than not,
I end up bathing in my own shit.

It's not gonna be like that, and things better pick up,
it's a challenge to get up, dust yourself off, and do something worthwhile
after sitting around doing nothing for God knows, it's been so effing long.

She gives me hope.
There's not a time I don't stop and think that somewhere out there
someone is quietly rooting for me.
Her especially.
I think of nothing but good, pleasantly awesome times.
Probable, maybe, iffy, we'll see in the end.