ambot dagay

Was up the whole night downloading music, totally immersed in indie...

Yeah, sounds kinda lame, losing sleep over such things like downloading music & finding out about bands that have probably broken up their members are probably working some blue collar job, wondering what the hell went wrong, but hey who cares? they're having an impact on me; that's gotta count somehow, right?

went researching about the the Sub Pop bands & the grunge scene & stuff...
thank God for the internet;
I wish I'd heard these bands sooner!
Tad, Mudhoney, Melvins, Superchunk(not sub pop but a cool band nonetheless), to name a few....
people ask me what music I'm into & I cant give them a straight answer...
it really depends on what mood I'm in & the atmosphere & the weather & so many other things...
I mean, I'll be listening to some backstreet boys song( yeah, backstreet boys! Believe it! haha) & all of a sudden I put on Soulfly or 311 or incubus or Mudvayne or Enchi or Greyhoundz & then I'll switch to Tupac & then some Bob Marley after;
& if I wanna chill I'll put on my woman on top CD & grab a beer or a coke & stare at the ceiling, reminiscing, digging up old memories or just fantasizing about dirty little things & trying to keep a straight face at the same time, in case somebody should walk in on me & then there'd be some good stories to tell tomorrow.
I dunno...

Jared & I are fixing up this little number I came up with.
hope it comes out ok so we can jam it out some time ...

I go back to camp today, sleep deprived, somewhat still in shock that I'm in Foxtrot Coy;
it's like a bad dream & I'm not that certain I've woken up.
somebody slap me, please.

anyways, sound trip these past 2 days have been intensely enlightening to my soul & troubled self-tortured little mind.
The little bastard-monster-son-of-a-gun-demon-shit-hound inside of me is taking a nap.
He needs the rest.
I've been feeling him stirring up my insides, leaving me immensely pissed of at everyone & everything for na apparent reason & it doesn't feel healthy.
Well, back to my soundtrip.

Still have to pack, & I'm cooking dinner today since nobody else is around to help.

baggage

i got that feeling again, took it home with me & its making itself comfortable, sneering its ugly smile at me, watching me suffer, enjoying every ounce of pain inflicted on me.
can't do much now, i turn on the cd player, surf the net, check out some sick shit online & think to myself, hmm, looks like i'm not that fucked up after all;
still, the sick, sinking feeling lingers, like the smell of rotten meat, the stench sticks to your skin, an invisble layer of gore, difficult to get rid of.

wahwahwah

dad bought me a 2nd hand acoustic guitar w/ pickup, & it's like i've forgotten how to play. Not that i'm good but i've forgotten how to play the songs i usually play when i have the time...
plus jared got a 2nd hand electric guitar w/ amp & accessories, so we can jam at home, & brush up on some songs so we wont be so bored & we can finally jam outside so we dont look like try-hards when we can't play a single song together.

I'm booking-in uniform today.

Shit.

it's so much hassle, seriously.

halbhlab halb

snippets of a life that once was, non existent, a memory of a time long gone, a phantom shdaow, on cameo.

these things will remain, embedded somewhere deep in the crevices of my mind.

...........

by the way, my blog's a year old.
would u believe it?
a year's worth of shit.
Let's see if i can survive another one.

Anonymous

I wake up to the sound of the dogs barking.
I'm lying on a bamboo couch, on the porch of my aunts ( who happens to be out, but if she was around she'd kill me for sure!) house.
I wipe my mouth of my own vomit, already crusting on the corner of my lips & on my shirt.
The acrid smell of half digested chips & liquor lingers in the air.
My body reeks.

What a mess.
Bits & pieces of last nights' food display themselves in a drying puddle on the floor, souvenirs from last night's escapade.
I pick myself up, my breath laced with alcohol, 'breathe me in if u wana get high'...
My liver's on overtime.
Gotta go get cleaned up & grab a bite.
Today's another day & I'm thirsty.

I love Fridays.