...it'll be over soon

& so begins yet another phase of my "army" life...

Meeting new people, making friends, forging bonds, rivalries, having to put up with a few assholes among a bunch of misfits, mostly 18 year old JC guys, who are a little younger & not that streetwise in a sense, not that JC guys are bad or anything, it's just that some of them haven't ripened up yet, like their eyes are just slits & they haven't seen the light of the sun in all its glory kinda thing, but everything's ok.

training's hard.
Fucking hard, but everything else is simply just too good to be true.
of course if I told u anything more I'd have to kill you so I'll leave it at that.

I was watching Discovery Channel & I just realized something.
Dragonflies are my favorite insect & penguins are cute.

I know;
You're thinking,
What the fuck?!?!

I don't know;
sometimes everything passes by so fast that you seldom have the time to just stop & take a look around at where you are & your surroundings & shit.
Maybe that's why it's called the discovery channel...
I'm not making any sense. As if anything else is new.

I book in at 1o o'clock tomorrow night.
Back to my holiday training camp for more macho, 'look ma, I'm a soldier!' shit.

The good side of it all is I'm not feeling pressured or anything 'cos we're given the initiative to accomplish whatever we have to, so basically it's really up to us.
We have the chance to excel so, we might as well right?
more shit from me next week with cherries on top & whatever...
I'm done.

Monuments & melodies...

this old man...

-old man, Rizal Blvd, Dumaguete, summer '04

I wonder, will I ever be able to do that when I reach this man's age?
What would I be like? How will I look? How does it feel?
To take a little walk, oblivious to everything else, mp3 player in my pocket- music buzzing in my ears, as I listen to Incubus' ACLOTM.
Then maybe I'll take a break, drop by a convenience store & grab a beer or two & resume my little walk.
I bump into my grandkids friends, some of them are smoking;
One of them waves at me & I wave back. I ask them where they're headed to & they say they're gonna go hangout, 'cos class just ended.
We share some parting remarks-
they offer me a cigarette, I take one
& I'm off again.
Where I'm headed I don't know.
Jimi Hendrix's Voodoo Child is on now, I take a deep breathe as the opening riff somehow has a hypnotic effect.
I've found a nice spot, where I can sit & enjoy the spectacle.
A street vendor walks & I get myself a packet of boiled peanuts, perfect with my beer.
I think back, & reminisce of sunsets just like this, days long gone.
Back when I was young, reckless & dumb. I think I haven't changed much. I've just gotten older.
Ill Nino's With You starts to play.
Memories come flooding back...
I close my eyes for a while, & drift off to another place.
I don't know if I will wake, this walk isn't over yet.
Many places to see. Many things to do.
Whatever comes my way, I'll take it as is.
No regrets, no complaints;
incubus' Monuments & Melodies is playing as I dream off into space;

My hands are trembling
And my eyes are on fire
This house is crumbling
Left brain, left out, on the wire
You make me happy
You magnify my better half
You make me certain
Though all I have today is your photograph
My past is perilous
But each scar I bear sings
Monuments to where I have been
And melodies to where I am going
You make me happy
You magnify my better half
You make me certain
Though all I have today is your photograph
When will I see you again?
Still-life can only go so far
I need you in front of me
Saying my name
Saying to me... "I choose the way you are
You, the way you are"
You make me happy
You magnify my better half
You make me certain
Though all I have today is your photograph
You make me happy...

So much for dreamin'...
i don't even know if i'll see tomorrow...
whatever it is, i'll be ready.

stranger by the day...it keeps getting

Today was fucking boring...
As if any other day wasn't.
so much for the positive intro...
I spent my time just slacking around watching vcd's & blasting my CD's in the living room, thinking about nothing & everything all at once.
Of course, being the "older brother", I did the odd chore here & there, otherwise I was a lazy ass today.
Since I got out of camp, hyperactivity has been the norm.
I can't seem to sit still, not even for a little bit.
I've just gotta be doing something or else I'll get bored & start growing roots & start to sprout branches & leaves out of my ass.

Damn training... Thanks a lot.
I'll put up some pictures of yours truly with my buddies in the bunk & stuff real soon,
but I have to wait a little.
I didn't bring a camera so I'm geting copies from my section-mate.
My blog's looking as dull as ever & I'm starting to hate blogging.
Whenever I'm online, there's just nothing to blog about. It's frustrating, staring at the monitor & then all of a sudden , *blank*...
I think I've said everything there is to be said about everything so far, redudancy's eating me up bit by bit from the inside out.

The shit has hit the fan.

News so far, hmm, aside from me being pissed off at the world & at the cruel reality i have to wake up to everyday, i'm utterly speechless, really...
except that, I don't know;
on the contrary, I'm thankful to wake up every morning in one piece;
to breathe the fucking-sterile-overcirculated-Singapore air, knowing I've been granted another day & another chance to make something out of it. So what am I trying to say? I have no idea.

Whatever it is, I know I'm not alright, but I'm ok.

Snow is falling from the sky

In the middle of July

Sun was shining in my eyes again last night

Alarm goes off without a sound

The silence is so loud

Something isn't right



Footsteps echo down the hall

No one's there at all

Dial your number but your voice says "I'm not home"

Everything is inside out

I don't know what it's about



It keeps getting stranger by the day

Stranger by the day

It keeps getting stranger by the day

Stranger by the day



Going for a walk outside

To see what I can find

No reflection in the windows I pass by

It feels hotter in the shade

Water runs up from the drain

something going on



Conversations with a mime

Stared at by the blind

Imagination must be working overtime

The world is upside down

Everything is turned around



It keeps getting stranger by the day

Stranger by the day

It keeps getting stranger by the day

Stranger by the day



By the time I reach your door

I can't take it anymore

I just happened to be in your neighborhood

I'm the one who gets surprised

I don't believe my eyes

Your alibi's no good



Whatever happened to the world

Whatever happened to the girl

I thought I knew

It just can't be true

I guess I'm losing you...



Stranger by the day

Stranger by the day

It keeps getting,

Stranger by the day

Stranger by the day

...

(stranger by the day- Shades Apart)

free for now.

Here I am again, looking back to things gone by & I'm in the zone again & in a state of disbelief & so much more I'm gonna need a thesaurus to describe whatever the hell I was going to say. I'm back at where I started. & the point is? hehe, I wish I knew...

What's next for me, uncertainty mostly, but I'm sure there's no smooth sailing, as usual. I'm hoping I can take a short visit to Dumaguete before I get my posting. Classes have just started back there so most of my friends are there. I got my fingers crossed on this one. Otherwise, I'm slacking at home 'cos the money train hasn't come yet.

Friday, I'm in love.

Went through my things & sorted out my room a little bit 'cos it's been fucked up since forever. Now it's slightly less unfucked.

I've been emotionally blacked out these past few days. Apparently in camp, you really can't utilise the Force & "use your feelings". Instead it's just listen to orders & do what is necessary to complete whatever shit task there is to be done. There's so much things I need to let out I can feel them leaking out of my ears. Cotton buds please!
This layout needs touching up... I'll come up with something new soon so I won't bore you guys to death with my preaching & whining & all that sort of shit. Even if it's mostly crap, at least it'll look good. Anyways, I'll get back on that, gotta go fix up my room.