lethargetic

The past few days have been great, if not rather tiresome...
I've been a sleepless wreck for quite a bit,

but hey, after today, i'll get me some well deserved rest.
No complaints however.
It's just that, again,

my body clock's all over the place.
Today's the final day of the little project i'm helping out with.

Hope it does ok.

Have a nice weekend!

warmth

"...so don't let the world pass you by;
Not everything is that fucked up & cold.
Remember why you came, & while you're alive-
experience the warmth before you grow old."
- The Warmth, Incubus

I helped out at some art school for kids yesterday, & i 'm gonna help until saturday. They're raising funds for the tsunami victims & needed some "manpower" :)..
i've got nothing else to do at home, so, what the hell? Don't wanna get into details today... maybe tomorrow. i'm kinda tired...

peace out!

shoot

Today, well yesterday, rather; marked my 1st official venture as a multi tasking indie production crewperson whatever... It was fun & tiring & then some... I'm helping out on a project with the YF & i think it's progressing pretty well.

Life, as I know it, is still an enormous melting pot of infinite possibilities...
What it all means to me? All I can say is I agree with Forrest Gump-
"You never really know what you're gonna get".
Great minds do think alike, hehe...

Peace out!!!

Pantomime.

One of the greatest bands around & one of my most favorite, in my opinion, is Incubus.
I can rant & rave about how their songs & their music have influenced me, both musically & as a person, but hey, let's leave the idolising for later.
Brandon Boyd is a one of a kind, gifted & talented singer/songwriter.
Great voice, nice personality, one whom many aspiring 'rockers'/vocalists like some friends of mine as well as myself worship, & emulate.
For me, I think he falls into the John Lennon, Jim Morisson type of songwriter;
Each possessing a unique, artistic quality that is inherent only among a select few.

This song says a lot about who I am, what I want to be & I what I'm afraid to become... That's how interpret it anyway. Can't get it out of my head, it's stuck, embedded in my cranium, injecting a distant, pleasingly euphoric sensation into my system everytime I hear it...

In my fantasy, I'm a pantomime
I'll just move my hands and everyone sees what I mean
Words are too messy
And it's way past time
To end in my mouth
Paint my face white and try
To reinvent the sea
One wave at a time
Speak without my voice and see the world by candlelight

I ain't afraid to let it out I'm not afraid to take that fall
But I have found beyond all doubt
We say more by saying nothing at all

In my fantasy no such thing as time
Minutes bleed into days
Avant garde
Show me your heresies
And I'll show you mine
We only speak in pantomimes on this carpet ride

I ain't afraid to let it out
I'm not afraid to take that fall
But I have found beyond all doubt
We say more by saying nothing at all

In my fantasy you look good entwined,
In my hair, and skin and spit and sweat and spilt red wine
You're my deep secret
I'm your pantomime
I'll just move my hands
I promise you'll see what I mean
-Pantomime, Incubus

space2...

7 days goes by so fast... "blink & u miss a beat...", it's true...
Lotsa stufff goin' on so I gotta get a grip on everything so i won't sway this way & that;

My roots are only so deep, & the wind keeps blowing...
'nuff said.. cliche, i know, but hell... c ya all around...

love & respect!!!

space...

another week, another period of time to kick myself into shape in all aspects...
I finally, finally got my posting, after months of waiting...
i'm going in on march.. yehey...
That aside i'm feeling great. I've got lots of things to keep myslef busy with so i'm looking forward to it all.
Have a nice week!!!

nu-stuff...

I like the new year so far... I don't know, I feel so much better than usual... I just hope this'll keep up or else's its back to the drawing board of self contempt & self pity & all that selfish shit... yep... no room for negativity; well just a little bit, once in a while, it can't be helped.
Good luck to me..
Hope you guys are havin' a ball at school...
To those who aren't at skool, it's either you're at work or you're like me, bumming around... I don't need to say anything else. *evil grin... Peace Out!!!

Me?

I wanna write a book someday. About what? I don't know; about my journey through life & what I've learnt about the mysteries & the significance of my existence, I guess.
*sigh
I see people everyday, on the street, on the rain & I sometimes, I think to myself, inside every person is a story waiting to be told. Everyone's like a walking time capsule or something.
I was at an old folks home just a few days before Christmas. My dad helps out in church, conducting evangelical work to the residents as well as the staff. That day, the staff, my family, with the exception of Justin (he was out with his volunteer Corp, they had projects of their own) sang carols; my mom & I played on the guitar while members of the staff handed out gifts to the residents, & I was thinking, man, I wonder what stories these people have to tell.. Looking back, only now do I appreciate doing those kind of things. What have they seen, what have they been through? Are they happy? Are they sad? What do they feel about being in away from their family, alone, left to see out their remaining days in a cold sterile environment? I imagine I would hear very interesting stories from them. When I grow old, I wouldn't want to be left alone, away from my family. I was reading Tuesdays With Morrie by Mitch Albom & I think I was moved to tears a few times, sentimental bastard that I am, sometimes. Life...
I think we are all born selfish.
We take & take & forget to give back even just a little bit of what we have.
People ask me, 'What do you wanna be, what do you wanna do?'
I just shrug my shoulders & tell them, well, whatever it is, I'm sure it's good. I want to reach out to people, share something with them, make a connection, put a smile on their face, somehow... I wanna be so many things...

I just wanna be me.

I wanna do things my way. I don't want to do things for people to earn my way up, or take orders from anyone. I don't wanna be a statistic, just a face in the crowd. I just wanna be me. Sure, I will change for the better, but I won't change just because everyone else is.
I think people these days have trouble finding who they really are, why they do what they do, why they're what they've become. I think I've done the same & I'm at a point where I can see what's ahead of me but the I have to decide which way to take, which path to tread in order to get there.
I think, deep inside, many of us are scared to do what what we really want & be what we want to be because we hate to be put down by others, to be told that we're wrong & in the process, are discouraged & left with one less opportunity of being more of what you want to be, but what THEY want you to be.
Wake up! Be all that you can be. The only one stopping you is yourself.

"...Try not. Do; Do not. There is no try." Yoda, Jedi Master

recap

Its been a whirlwind of a year. Everything before July was great. From then on was another story. Yet another turning point in my life, one I'll never forget & which has made me better & worse at what I already am. 6 months here in Singapore already & I'm not proud of my stay here so far 'cos I think I could've done better & done so much more. & rightly so! I'm not making any resolutions or crap like that for the coming year, but I'm starting the new year with new hopes & hopefully, a change of attitude that'll propel this slow moving ship towards wherever the hell its headed!

My dad said that everyone sets out to change the world, but we often forget to change ourselves. I echo that sentiment, & I think that I've been wanting the world around me to change instead of me changing myself. I'm surfing against the winds of change & its rough out there. I've got a long journey ahead of me & its getting harder every minute.

All the best for the new year once again, & I'd like to send out my deepest & sincerest wishes to everyone affected by the earthquake & tsunami thing. Everything will work out for the best!

......................'05

.....i'm staring blankly at the screen trying to think of something worthwhile to say.

Nope, can't think of anything. well, happy new years' anyway. I hope it'll turn out bettere than this one.
Peace!!!