ramble in the jangle

had a long chat,
about this and that,
about mice and cat,
tit and tat.

No reply, no sound left my mouth.
Auto nods, a blank stare, expressionless.

If they knew what i know,
if they'd seen what i've done,
will i still be me, will i still be a son?

it tears my heart into tiny little pieces,
unnecessary burdens weighing me down.

I love me, i love them loving me,
I want to be loved.
I want to love but I can't.
I can't love myself properly.

Pain. It hurts.
I love the pain.
I want to be happy
I want to be sad.
I must be mad.

1+1 is....

It's gettin so much clearer now, seems like it isn't so hard after all.
Nostalgic fools wallow in the past. I'm drowning.
I can't swim and treading water is impossible.

said

Can't undo what's already been done.
Can't un-say what's already been said.
A can of worms.