musse

today was one of the rare occasions I got to really be with my family & spend some time with them, which awakened something inside, something that's been hiding away for the past few weeks, since things haven't been the way they should be but everything's fine for now, which I'm really thankful for;
one less headache.

I'm still bummed I didn't pass my SOC but it's behind me now.
Haizel was right.
Thanks a lot bro!

I've changed.
I've become more distant to everybody, less "there";
I guess it's just a front to hide, to take refuge from my insecurities, issues I thought were long gone or non-existent but somehow was there along dragging me down like a cancer striking when i least expect it.
I just don't wanna face the truth sometimes.

I listened to music for the first time in a week.
Music that I like anyway, stuff I hear around me, stuff I don't like, don't count.
it felt good.

I turn 23 on Saturday & I won't be celebrating it with anyone in particular.
(i'm that old already?)
I'm stuck in camp for some more training, jeez, when will itr end?.
That's not a complaint or anything, it's a fact that's all.
I can tell how my family misses me & how I miss not being around & it shows.
At times, it's good not to be around but I'd rather be somewhere else than in camp or at home if I wanna really get away from it all.
It just isn't possible.

I need to get me another book.
I just don't know what I wanna read at the moment.
I'm planning to get me QOTSA's previous album the one with Dave Grohl on drums.
I just love listening to them at the moment.