off me chest

How did things get so fucked up, we ask?

There really is no answer to that.

How do you fix it?

Can it even be fixed?

How do you get on with it,

with life, and the possibility 

that the future isn't gonna be too pretty?

You love her, 

yeah you tell her all the  time 

but you don't  do shit about it

and still you try to piece together 

a future that is so fucking blurred and uncertain

based solely on a gut feeling,

envisioning the both of you

together, finally, despite the odds 

heavily stacked against you.

neither of you knows for sure,

and it's been months.

she loves you too, you know?

You jackass.

Days,weeks, months,

it's been that long.

You've got nothing.

Nothing but a messy mop of hair,

a bed you rarely sleep on,

replacing it for the limitations of the living room sofa,

now dusty, and mite infested,

the very reason you moved out of your room in the first place.

Empty pockets except for a few bucks worth of coins and notes.

Slowly but surely  you're disappearing off of

everyone's radar, forgotten, a distant memory.

Life is beautiful, it really is,

when the bad has passed and the credits start rolling,

and everybody leaves the theater happy.

Until then you gotta pick yourself up,

pull yourself together and get prepped for the next act.

You might just find out who gets the girl after all.

own

so I'm looking for a way out;
a way in, to something better.
helter skelter
finding shelter
And I learn my lesson,
but I lie to myself.

block

It's awfully hard to write what's been on my mind lately,
and with nothing much going on the last few days,
The lethargy that comes with physical and mental inactivity
is more intense than ever.

never remember what you choose to forget.

sometimes you just can't say
everything that's on your mind here.
It's increasingly frustrating,
like right now, this very moment.

I won't waste yours or my time.



This ditty says it all.
Thanks Jamie,
I fucking love the lyrics.

Bright eyes- A Line Allows Progress, A Circle Does Not

Sitting around, no work today
Try pacing to keep awake
Laying around, no school today
Just drink until the clock has circled all the way

It is late afternoon
as you walk through the rooms
of a house that is quiet
except for unanswered telephones
You stand near the sink
while you're mixing a drink
You think you don't want to pass out
where your roommates will find you again

Stumble around the neighborhood with nothing to do
You're always looking for something to sniff, smoke or swallow
Calling over next door to see what they got
But you would settle for anything that would make your brain slow down or stop

Break this circle of thoughts you chase before they catch back up with you
And your parents noticed your thinning face
All the weight you lost
All the weight you are losing

You said "I'm done feeling like a skeleton, no more sleep walking dead"
You're going to wake from this coma
You're going to crawl from this bed you have made
And stop counting on that camera
that hangs round your neck
Because it won't ever remember
what you choose to forget

As you try to find some source of light
Try to name one thing you like
You used to have such a longer list
And light you never had to look for it
But now it's so easy to second guess everything you do
until all you want is to

Finish this half empty glass
before the ice all melts away
This feeling always used to pass
Seems like it's every day
Seems like it's every night now