feba

I read your latest post Mara.
And I totally agree with the
'we all just wanna be loved' part.
In the end, nobody wants to be alone.

Here's the thing though,
and I think I've had a few online chats
with my dear friend over the years,
for her to agree with me that this charade
of falling in and out of love is a fucking drag.

Call me overly sentimental,
a hopeless sap, but...

ok, it's 06:58am on a Saturday and
I should have published this already.

I think the point I'm trying
to make is that
I can't escape the fact I'm getting
older,
and I don't know
the next time
I'll be able to
gaze aimlessly up
at a neon-lit, Singapore sky
while in each other's arms,
savoring the moment,
digesting the dinner
and customary beer;
making the best of a fleeting moment
bleeding it for all its worth;

It's been awhile and
I honestly wanna say it doesn't bother me one bit,
but it does.

Complications and complexities
accompany this modern day
relationship-type-thing,
and I've become so desentisized
and jaded to the notion
of leaving an open space for
the 'right one'.
It's 03:06am on a sunday morning now
and this post was started 2nights ago.

I'll follow up in the next post.
the average person has a very small attention span.
If you've read this far down my post,
well, thanks, and I hope I didn't waste to much of your time.
Or you're just as bored as I am.

inside...

listening to stellar by incubus,
it reminds me of the state of mind one can be
in, in trying to decipher and define something
so strong and profoundly beautiful.

Probably once you've found it, you just know.
Somebody give me a map.