...Deep in the pits from which my darkest thoughts lie hid, a force has stirred, awoken, gnashing & thrashing wild, violent in its rage; silently it races upwards in the lightless abyss of its being, devouring everything in its path like a tempest in its fullest force.
This week was not so good. It's been a long, weary 5 days, & a lot has happened. I've been hoarding so many things in my head lately, so I'll take this opportunity to vent my suppressed emotions. I've been keeping them in a zip lock bag so they wont be soaked by anything else swimming around in my empty head. I'm just fucking pissed off that's all. Not at anyone in particular. Maybe at myself & a few distinguished people, but not in a personal way.
I don't know, I don't know, I don't know...
Tomorrow's another day, so the slate will be clean & the seas will calm down.
I don't know, I don't know, I don't know...
Tomorrow's another day, so the slate will be clean & the seas will calm down.
My journey goes ever on, my feet, blistered & bruised.
My skin, rough & sun-kissed.
For years I've walked this road, searching, wandering about;
In search of what, I do not yet know. have I wandered in vain?
A fool, on an aimless quest.
My skin, rough & sun-kissed.
For years I've walked this road, searching, wandering about;
In search of what, I do not yet know. have I wandered in vain?
A fool, on an aimless quest.
Pt2:
Thoughts-
This place can be lonely sometimes. I've made a few friends here & there but I still haven't met people on the same wave length. I can adapt to almost anything, anybody, anywhere, but I haven't really met anybody who I can talk to about things I'm interested in. Most of them here see only the small picture. Their scope is minute in stature, yet that doesn't make me better than them. We all will learn.
Day in day out, when I get the chance, I gaze up & stare at the sky.Anyway, every few minutes, a plane flies by. A ray of hope peaks through the clouds of despair in my head, as memories of days gone by flood my head & I long to return home & go back to how things were before. Every single time a plane passes by, I tell myself, "one of these days, that'll be me up there". Soon, the smells & sounds of home will be reality. Soon. Not yet, but some day soon. It's not wishful thinking. Every single day brings me closer. Completing this unexpected, enlightening, interesting & fucking-back-breaking phase of my life (pardon the profanity, but there's no other way to emphasize my point) isn't going to be easy; sometimes it's fun but I won't wish this on myself if I had a choice. Everything has its good & bad, & I think it's all a bunch of bullshit. Like they say, each to his own. I'm gonna stay as far away as I can from it. That's what I think anyway. No offense to those who are in there, but I think it sucks & it's not what I want. Still, I will gain something from this experience. I think I've gained a lot already. No matter what anyone else says, there's no way I'm gonna change my mind about what I think. I may be wrong, but my gut tells me I'm on the right track. leter.
Thoughts-
This place can be lonely sometimes. I've made a few friends here & there but I still haven't met people on the same wave length. I can adapt to almost anything, anybody, anywhere, but I haven't really met anybody who I can talk to about things I'm interested in. Most of them here see only the small picture. Their scope is minute in stature, yet that doesn't make me better than them. We all will learn.
Day in day out, when I get the chance, I gaze up & stare at the sky.Anyway, every few minutes, a plane flies by. A ray of hope peaks through the clouds of despair in my head, as memories of days gone by flood my head & I long to return home & go back to how things were before. Every single time a plane passes by, I tell myself, "one of these days, that'll be me up there". Soon, the smells & sounds of home will be reality. Soon. Not yet, but some day soon. It's not wishful thinking. Every single day brings me closer. Completing this unexpected, enlightening, interesting & fucking-back-breaking phase of my life (pardon the profanity, but there's no other way to emphasize my point) isn't going to be easy; sometimes it's fun but I won't wish this on myself if I had a choice. Everything has its good & bad, & I think it's all a bunch of bullshit. Like they say, each to his own. I'm gonna stay as far away as I can from it. That's what I think anyway. No offense to those who are in there, but I think it sucks & it's not what I want. Still, I will gain something from this experience. I think I've gained a lot already. No matter what anyone else says, there's no way I'm gonna change my mind about what I think. I may be wrong, but my gut tells me I'm on the right track. leter.
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