Me?

I wanna write a book someday. About what? I don't know; about my journey through life & what I've learnt about the mysteries & the significance of my existence, I guess.
*sigh
I see people everyday, on the street, on the rain & I sometimes, I think to myself, inside every person is a story waiting to be told. Everyone's like a walking time capsule or something.
I was at an old folks home just a few days before Christmas. My dad helps out in church, conducting evangelical work to the residents as well as the staff. That day, the staff, my family, with the exception of Justin (he was out with his volunteer Corp, they had projects of their own) sang carols; my mom & I played on the guitar while members of the staff handed out gifts to the residents, & I was thinking, man, I wonder what stories these people have to tell.. Looking back, only now do I appreciate doing those kind of things. What have they seen, what have they been through? Are they happy? Are they sad? What do they feel about being in away from their family, alone, left to see out their remaining days in a cold sterile environment? I imagine I would hear very interesting stories from them. When I grow old, I wouldn't want to be left alone, away from my family. I was reading Tuesdays With Morrie by Mitch Albom & I think I was moved to tears a few times, sentimental bastard that I am, sometimes. Life...
I think we are all born selfish.
We take & take & forget to give back even just a little bit of what we have.
People ask me, 'What do you wanna be, what do you wanna do?'
I just shrug my shoulders & tell them, well, whatever it is, I'm sure it's good. I want to reach out to people, share something with them, make a connection, put a smile on their face, somehow... I wanna be so many things...

I just wanna be me.

I wanna do things my way. I don't want to do things for people to earn my way up, or take orders from anyone. I don't wanna be a statistic, just a face in the crowd. I just wanna be me. Sure, I will change for the better, but I won't change just because everyone else is.
I think people these days have trouble finding who they really are, why they do what they do, why they're what they've become. I think I've done the same & I'm at a point where I can see what's ahead of me but the I have to decide which way to take, which path to tread in order to get there.
I think, deep inside, many of us are scared to do what what we really want & be what we want to be because we hate to be put down by others, to be told that we're wrong & in the process, are discouraged & left with one less opportunity of being more of what you want to be, but what THEY want you to be.
Wake up! Be all that you can be. The only one stopping you is yourself.

"...Try not. Do; Do not. There is no try." Yoda, Jedi Master